A little light relief

This is taken from a little plastic pinball game we bought in a French supermarket some years ago, for a few francs. The kind where you pull back a little springed piston and shoot little coloured balls into numbered baskets. The instructions were on the back: Chinese on the left, an English 'translation' on the right. I have reproduced the English version exactly as it appears, including spelling, spacing and punctuation. Enjoy.

Intelligent Marble and Color Wheel
Intelligent and Lucky

A GAME OF MARBLES AND COLOR WHEEL
- Marble and Color Wheel is a kind of game that is very mordennow. It collects excitement,fascination.It's a very interesting game.It can not only train lover's skill and intelligence but also is a best way for lover's to make friend. It's an intelligent game for a family to be a happy field. Spring your miracle,competite your level.
-Play ways: 1 The two parties of intelligent competition must own themselves "Marble and Color Wheel".Within the fixed time if you shoot the five provided plastic teased pearl early or late,you'll get a grand tolal. If the last digit of the grand total has an "EIGHT",you'll get an "Auspicious seat".If the last digit of the grand total has a "FIVE",you'll get a "LUCKY SEAT".
2 Other, the two parties willjudge winning or losing,according to the highest grand total. The one who get the hightest grade is a big winnet. 3 Before a game begins,players may also engage to shoot the five provided platic teased pearl early or late,getting a grand total.We winner according to how manypoints it can reach.
-Where there is a will be your best ladder of success. it is your best training of will,intelligence,skill will be best ladder of success. It is your best training way of defeating everying.

Find similar at www.engrish.com